Recently, I was pulling into my driveway with my youngest son Brody and one of his buddies for an after school play-date. I overheard his friend quietly saying "My mom is so mean. She yells at me everyday." I assume they had a rough morning at home...something I have a bit of experience with myself. Before I knew it, Brody was chiming in..."My mom is so mean too!".
My internal chatter begins: "Wait. What? Me? I'm so mean? Am I? Oh man...I do raise my voice sometimes...and I'm not always as patient as I want to be. Was Brody just saying that because his friend was? First grade peer pressure to fit in perhaps? Does he really think I'm a mean mommy? Ugh.
I'm falling fast people.
I am admittedly a bit attached to the idea that we are a happy family and regardless of how difficult life may be at times, we all love each other. At the end of the day I have a strong chip inside me that just needs to be liked. My practice seems to be to loosen these attachments and just be with each moment...each situation just as it is...pleasant or difficult. After all, our human condition and experience changes like the wind.
As Byron Katie would say..."Would You Argue With The Wind?"
That evening as I was getting Brody ready for bed, I noticed the story of me being a mean mommy rolling over in my mind. As I put him to bed and we snuggled, I told him I loved him. His last words to me were "You Are The Best Momma In The World"...
Yes. I'm that too.